I was in this little red car, and I was with Erick. He was drinking Dr. Pepper, and I needed to drink it because it was all I could have to survive. What?
Then he hugged me, and put his head on top of mine, and how do I explain this…
We morphed into the same person, and his fingers intertwined, etc. Then we were in this water world. Everything was covered with water and it was a struggle for me because I can’t swim. Then I was screaming at my sister and mom and yelling, “I hate you. Why can’t you just let me be myself.” It made me feel pretty terrible. Then there were these huge hills of water forming, and I had to grab this wooden post. There was a girl with me, and I knew her. But now I can’t remember. The water kept going over our heads, and disappearing. But the last one filled almost the whole building, and I was hanging on as tightly as I could. Then I heard this really horrible voice, that said, “One from your past or present is going to die. You can’t stop this anymore.” And I began to rush to the surface, and swim as fast as I could. There was 2 inches or so of air, and everything was golden and pretty. There was this awful little wooden doll that had broken it’s head, and I had to put it back together to save whoever was going to die.
I saved Erick. And the water disappeared. I ran into Mason and Tucker later, and then you. Then there were these really pale people, who stared at me. Apparently they were vampires or something, I was concerned about somebody losing their blood. Then I ran into Barrett, and I tried to runaway. Then I said, “I have to go. I’m going to drown.” And he wouldn’t let go of my hands, and my arm separated into thousands of pages, and he just kept looking at me. Then I said, “I have to save everyone else too. You don’t understand. I have to help them to make the voices stop.”
And he said, “Why aren’t you eating? You love food.”
Then water was rising, and without holding a wooden post you drown. So I held onto him because I was afraid. I heard the voices but I couldn’t move without the post. When the water went down he had turned into one, and I had killed him for someone else to use. Then I started crying and I faded away.I was in this little red car, and I was with Erick. He was drinking Dr. Pepper, and I needed to drink it because it was all I could have to survive. What?
You told me your mom was driving the car. This is important in leading up to the next part. Never omit any part of a dream if you remember it, no matter how miniscule it seems. This car is, metaphorically, your life, your direction, your future. Okay? Okay. The fact that your mom was driving the car means that you feel she is trying to control your life; the fact that it was red means that she’s all about the show and entertainment of people and less about feelings (it also could suggest your strong feelings of anger toward her); the fact that it was little could mean that you feel crammed, claustrophobia, uncomfortable, or belittled by her control of your lifestyle. The fact that Erick was there drinking what you needed to survive shows that you depend on him in some light. (And I like the little play off of Dr. Pepper: like it’s medicine.)
Then he hugged me, and put his head on top of mine, and how do I explain this…
We morphed into the same person, and his fingers intertwined, etc.The fact that you and Erick became one person means that you feel too intertwined with him and you may be wanting some distance (more than you’ve already inflicted).
Then we were in this water world. Everything was covered with water and it was a struggle for me because I can’t swim. Then I was screaming at my sister and mom and yelling, “I hate you. Why can’t you just let me be myself.” It made me feel pretty terrible.
Because you were under water (which I know is not your element), this represents that you feel you’re struggling with your lifestyle and the way things are going. And yelling what you did at your mom and Kayla is very simple and not cryptic. The statement fits in well with the overwhelmed feeling and the fact that your mom is driving your life.
Then there were these huge hills of water forming, and I had to grab this wooden post. There was a girl with me, and I knew her. But now I can’t remember. The water kept going over our heads, and disappearing. But the last one filled almost the whole building, and I was hanging on as tightly as I could. Then I heard this really horrible voice, that said, “One from your past or present is going to die. You can’t stop this anymore.” And I began to rush to the surface, and swim as fast as I could. There was 2 inches or so of air, and everything was golden and pretty.
The fact that you had someone struggling with you, but you can’t remember who they are now shows that you feel your struggle is extremely personal and no one truly understands what you’re going through. And because there was so little air, but everything was “golden and pretty” shows that you think death is a beautiful thing.
There was this awful little wooden doll that had broken it’s head, and I had to put it back together to save whoever was going to die. I saved Erick. And the water disappeared.
The wooden doll, in Jungian ideals, could represent you and that you feel there is too much stress and it’s breaking your head and you feel you have to fix yourself up to please other people.
I ran into Mason and Tucker later, and then you. Then there were these really pale people, who stared at me. Apparently they were vampires or something, I was concerned about somebody losing their blood.
You feel drained.
Then I ran into Barrett, and I tried to runaway. Then I said, “I have to go. I’m going to drown.” And he wouldn’t let go of my hands, and my arm separated into thousands of pages, and he just kept looking at me.
Obviously the fact you didn’t want to stay with Barrett, you didn’t want to see him reflects your waking life. But because you said were going to drown as the reason to go shows that you don’t want him seeing you distraught or stressed.
Then I said, “I have to save everyone else too. You don’t understand. I have to help them to make the voices stop.”
You feel you have to save everyone. Like you owe it to people. You don’t have to save everyone. And you can be okay without constantly trying to rescue and help people.
And he said, “Why aren’t you eating? You love food.”
You associate Barrett with a more natural, more comfortable you.
Then water was rising, and without holding a wooden post you drown. So I held onto him because I was afraid. I heard the voices but I couldn’t move without the post. When the water went down he had turned into one, and I had killed him for someone else to use. Then I started crying and I faded away.
You hold onto Barrett so tightly because you’re afraid of losing him. You feel like you can’t survive without him. And you want to help others (Erick, for instance) but you don’t want to let go of Barrett. Because you’re comfortable with Barrett. But you’re holding on to him so tight, your subconscious is showing you that you could smother him, drag him into your stress. And you feel responsible for whatever bad feelings he has now, like you inflicted those feelings onto him.
But what does this all mean as a whole?
Lastly, I wanted to point this out separately.
- “He was drinking Dr. Pepper, and I needed to drink it because it was all I could have to survive.”
- “Then water was rising, and without holding a wooden post you drown. So I held onto him because I was afraid.”
In both of these points: You’re depending on other people to “survive.”
Your subconscious is pointing this out to you so you can fix it. Your subconscious is telling you: Learn to swim. Don’t depend on people anymore.
